Yesturday I wrote about the fact that there was a 1 in 4 HUNDRED TRILLION chance that you would be born to the parents you have, with your genetic makeup, at this time in human history.
Today, I'm going to tell you why you keep screwing things up and self-sabotaging without even being aware of it.
Your brain is a fascinating piece of bio-engineering; it keeps us alive with involuntary actions like breathing (because hey, if we had to remember to do this, we would already be long dead), telling us when we need food or water and sleep. So in the bio-mechanical sense, its awesome.
But psychologically, your brain is too dependent on how you feel to be truly effective.
Your brain has two main modes. Automatic, and Manual. Yep, just like a car.
When you switch into Auto, everything is boring. It's the same routine with the same people, the ame food, same work, same patterns and we don't really pay attention to it. Before you know it, ten years have flown by and you didn't grow a single bit. You didn't even get to really live those ten years!
Ever driven to work or to the grocery store and then thought "how did I get here? who drove the car?" that's your brain on Auto.
Manual on the other hand, is the flip side to Auto. It demands you manually tell it what to do: what to think, when to do something, and how. You literally have to switch gears on this one, and really pay attention because if you don't. you'll blow up the engine, metaphorically speaking. It requires you to put in the effort to use your mind as it was intended: to think!
Oh, and there's one other nifty thing you brain has: the Emergency Brake! the Emergency Brake is deployed everytime you transition from Auto to Manual. Anytime you shake up your routine, its there and kills the idea, inspiration or thought you had. It immediately makes you STOP and take the auto-option. Why? because its EASIER on our brains to do the auto thing than to actually think and act on our own at a higher level of functioning.
So, how do you beat it?
Its simple, but it's not easy. You have to stay in Manual, and make yourself do the things your auto-brain doesn't want you too. It means you have to get up out of bed on time and not hit the snooze button. It means you have to eat that apple and not the Crunchy bar your craving. It means you have to start taking yourself seriously and responsibility for your actions because nobody else is to blame for where you're at now and where you're going, except you.
You made the decision to eat that extra chocolate, not call the hot girl from the bar, or take that job. What are the next 10 years of decisions going to look like?
Thursday, 8 January 2015
Wednesday, 7 January 2015
You Got Sh*t To Do!
I recently came across a TEDx Talk by Mel Robbins, a well known life coach and author with a special talent for public speaking. Her talk on getting what you want got the wheels in my mind moving, and I got to thinking-whats the point of people striving for better? what drives us to do this?
Well, the simple answer is we are driven by our feelings and emotions.
Think about this: we avoid painful emotions by completely shutting them out, or avoiding them as much as possible, while we bask in the joy and laughter of others. We avoid activities or others who upset us, and stick with what we know to be safe, even if it's boring.
But why do we do it? why not just dive right on in the deep end and swim our way out?
Because our brain is a little bit like this: we function on autopilot in our day to day lives, where we miss the unpredictable and stick with the safe, if boring existence we currently lead. The part of our brain is the panic button. The minute we step outside of the 'safe' zone, thats when we unconsciously ht the panic button and freak out. Our emotions go bonkers, our ability to think rationally ge right out the window. Heck, sometimes this works out well because we meet someone uber cool or good-looking, but other times it really doesn't do us any favours.
So, given these two extreme modes our brain loves, you have two choices: either sit on your butt and watch life pass you by uneventfully and without any great amount of joy because its "safe", or grab it by the balls and yank it, pull it, squeeze it until it bends to your command.
And just in case you needed a bit more motivation? Did you know that the chances of you existing in the world right now, with the parents you have, genetic make up, taking into account all the wars, conflicts and other disasters in human history, are 1 in 400 TRILLION.
Yep.
That's 400 followed by 12 zeros.
So what the hell are you still doing on your butt? heck, with the 1 in 400 TRILLION chance you have, do something amazing with it! Start that business, enroll in that course, learn to cook French food or pick up that hot babe at the bar! Get out there, you have sh*t to do people!
Well, the simple answer is we are driven by our feelings and emotions.
Think about this: we avoid painful emotions by completely shutting them out, or avoiding them as much as possible, while we bask in the joy and laughter of others. We avoid activities or others who upset us, and stick with what we know to be safe, even if it's boring.
But why do we do it? why not just dive right on in the deep end and swim our way out?
Because our brain is a little bit like this: we function on autopilot in our day to day lives, where we miss the unpredictable and stick with the safe, if boring existence we currently lead. The part of our brain is the panic button. The minute we step outside of the 'safe' zone, thats when we unconsciously ht the panic button and freak out. Our emotions go bonkers, our ability to think rationally ge right out the window. Heck, sometimes this works out well because we meet someone uber cool or good-looking, but other times it really doesn't do us any favours.
So, given these two extreme modes our brain loves, you have two choices: either sit on your butt and watch life pass you by uneventfully and without any great amount of joy because its "safe", or grab it by the balls and yank it, pull it, squeeze it until it bends to your command.
And just in case you needed a bit more motivation? Did you know that the chances of you existing in the world right now, with the parents you have, genetic make up, taking into account all the wars, conflicts and other disasters in human history, are 1 in 400 TRILLION.
Yep.
That's 400 followed by 12 zeros.
So what the hell are you still doing on your butt? heck, with the 1 in 400 TRILLION chance you have, do something amazing with it! Start that business, enroll in that course, learn to cook French food or pick up that hot babe at the bar! Get out there, you have sh*t to do people!
Thursday, 1 January 2015
The Power Within
At this time of the year when things get silly, fun, intense and often strenuous, it's easy to forget ourselves and let ourselves be caught up in the drama, fighting, and other stress.
I myself am very guilty of letting my emotions rule my actions and abandon responsinility for my choices and actions.
We all do it from time to time: someone close to us says or does something that totally throws us off balance and our only reaction is to react based entirely on raw emotion. We forget to think. Our mind leaves the equation and suddenly we have the pure anger, frustration, sadness and all the other many other emotions we feel.
I want to take this platform and opportunity to remind you that you are, at all times, the only person totally responsible for yourself. That isn't limited to just whether or not you have that extra brownie. It covers everything from what pants you wear (if any) to how you handle a real curve ball life throws your way.
Steven Conway, the brilliant man who gave us The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, has this brilliant theory (although, if you put into practice you'll know how spot on he is) of being Reactive and Proactive. The theory of being at cause is as simple as this:
You have the choice to be Reactive, or Proactive. A Reactive person abdicates their personal responsibility and behaves entirely based on their raw and often intense emotions, positive or negative. a Proactive person uses their mind to consider their choices for behaving and handling their circumstance, and decides which option best suits their needs and purposes. For example, if you decide that today nothing could drag you down and make you unhappy, then someone telling you that are dumb, inadequate and obese leaves you with two choices: you can be angry, furious with them for saying such things to you and take a verbal swipe right back at them. This is the Reactive response. A Proactive response would involve considering your choices including the Reactive ones-and what purpose they serve; do they help you stay happy that day, or not? a Proactive response considers these and makes their choice of response accordingly.
If you think this sounds preposterous, try it.
Even someone doing hard time in prison has the choice in how they respond to their circumstances. Some will decide it is where they will die a slow death of the soul before their body fails them, others choose to join a gang ans find solace in their numbers. Yet more choose to religion for a new beginning. Again more choose a new beginning with opportunities for education and employment. Even someone is the most terrible of situations has the choice.
It is our personal power to choose what we want and need for ourselves.
I challenge each of you to try this. Embrace the power, feel it course through your veins, pulsating with potential.
You can do this!
I myself am very guilty of letting my emotions rule my actions and abandon responsinility for my choices and actions.
We all do it from time to time: someone close to us says or does something that totally throws us off balance and our only reaction is to react based entirely on raw emotion. We forget to think. Our mind leaves the equation and suddenly we have the pure anger, frustration, sadness and all the other many other emotions we feel.
I want to take this platform and opportunity to remind you that you are, at all times, the only person totally responsible for yourself. That isn't limited to just whether or not you have that extra brownie. It covers everything from what pants you wear (if any) to how you handle a real curve ball life throws your way.
Steven Conway, the brilliant man who gave us The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, has this brilliant theory (although, if you put into practice you'll know how spot on he is) of being Reactive and Proactive. The theory of being at cause is as simple as this:
You have the choice to be Reactive, or Proactive. A Reactive person abdicates their personal responsibility and behaves entirely based on their raw and often intense emotions, positive or negative. a Proactive person uses their mind to consider their choices for behaving and handling their circumstance, and decides which option best suits their needs and purposes. For example, if you decide that today nothing could drag you down and make you unhappy, then someone telling you that are dumb, inadequate and obese leaves you with two choices: you can be angry, furious with them for saying such things to you and take a verbal swipe right back at them. This is the Reactive response. A Proactive response would involve considering your choices including the Reactive ones-and what purpose they serve; do they help you stay happy that day, or not? a Proactive response considers these and makes their choice of response accordingly.
If you think this sounds preposterous, try it.
Even someone doing hard time in prison has the choice in how they respond to their circumstances. Some will decide it is where they will die a slow death of the soul before their body fails them, others choose to join a gang ans find solace in their numbers. Yet more choose to religion for a new beginning. Again more choose a new beginning with opportunities for education and employment. Even someone is the most terrible of situations has the choice.
It is our personal power to choose what we want and need for ourselves.
I challenge each of you to try this. Embrace the power, feel it course through your veins, pulsating with potential.
You can do this!
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