Crazy Love

In a recent discussion with a friend, we dissected the topic of the latest love-interest to enter their life.

This person came with a full crate of baggage and then some, and never gave any clear sign that were actually interested in them. In fact, it seemed more like they had more than one person interested in them and was trying to keep them all hanging on.

This new love also had a tendency to self-harm, and call my friend at all hours of the night claiming they were going to do it again.

Naturally, this new love interest became an obsession for my friend. Not only was she now attracted to now attracted to him, but emotionally burdened by his own baggage and felt a strong responsibility towards them-in an odd way, to always be on call in case they felt inclined to harm themselves again.

The strain this took and is still taking, is enormous. It begged me to ask her, why? why put yourself through that? Her answer didn't surprise me, "I'm not just going to turn away because of a few issues."

A few issues? are you kidding?!

This person is screaming for help and attention and gets only the attention. Most certainly do they have issues, but it's not as simple as having a traumatic experience with a kitten at age four and now they can't be cats. This is a whole other kettle of fish!

It begs several very large, important questions that every person entering a relationship must ask and be able to answer themselves:

1. Where is your line in the sand? ask yourself what your deal-breakers are like cheating or praying for Big Brother to come back for yet another season.You need to set yourself a standard, so you can respect yourself as you deserve to be respected and you have clear expectations.

2. Are you prepared to enter into a relationship with someone who has mental health issues? Now, this isn't to say everyone with these issues is a write off. You have to realize how full on and exhausting this can be depending on the issue, and understand what it might entail.

3. Do you respect yourself? do you really? This I know is a hard one, but the answer shouldn't gray. In fact it should be a clear and proud YES! If it's not then how do you expect someone else to show you respect?

If you can't answer any of those questions honestly to yourself, maybe you should be selfish for a while and just focus on you-yes, you. Take a break from man-hunting or trying to find the right kind of woman. They will come right when your ready for them, and probably not while you're out searching for them in every nook and cranny.