In a recent discussion with a friend, we dissected the topic of the latest love-interest to enter their life.
This person came with a full crate of baggage and then some, and never gave any clear sign that were actually interested in them. In fact, it seemed more like they had more than one person interested in them and was trying to keep them all hanging on.
This new love also had a tendency to self-harm, and call my friend at all hours of the night claiming they were going to do it again.
Naturally, this new love interest became an obsession for my friend. Not only was she now attracted to now attracted to him, but emotionally burdened by his own baggage and felt a strong responsibility towards them-in an odd way, to always be on call in case they felt inclined to harm themselves again.
The strain this took and is still taking, is enormous. It begged me to ask her, why? why put yourself through that? Her answer didn't surprise me, "I'm not just going to turn away because of a few issues."
A few issues? are you kidding?!
This person is screaming for help and attention and gets only the attention. Most certainly do they have issues, but it's not as simple as having a traumatic experience with a kitten at age four and now they can't be cats. This is a whole other kettle of fish!
It begs several very large, important questions that every person entering a relationship must ask and be able to answer themselves:
1. Where is your line in the sand? ask yourself what your deal-breakers are like cheating or praying for Big Brother to come back for yet another season.You need to set yourself a standard, so you can respect yourself as you deserve to be respected and you have clear expectations.
2. Are you prepared to enter into a relationship with someone who has mental health issues? Now, this isn't to say everyone with these issues is a write off. You have to realize how full on and exhausting this can be depending on the issue, and understand what it might entail.
3. Do you respect yourself? do you really? This I know is a hard one, but the answer shouldn't gray. In fact it should be a clear and proud YES! If it's not then how do you expect someone else to show you respect?
If you can't answer any of those questions honestly to yourself, maybe you should be selfish for a while and just focus on you-yes, you. Take a break from man-hunting or trying to find the right kind of woman. They will come right when your ready for them, and probably not while you're out searching for them in every nook and cranny.
Saturday, 27 December 2014
Be Extraordinary
I am constantly in awe of the people who are achieving truly extraordinary things.
The vastness of human potential is staggering and larger than you or I could ever conceive of.
As a race, look at our accomplishments and our ingenuity: when we needed shelter, we built it from bark, leaves, rocks and anything else we could find. Now in the Western World this means we find a suitable house to rent or buy with a decent kitchen, entertaining area, and bathroom. We get hungry, we found food. We ate berries, plants, hunted our prey and used their fur to keep us warm in the cold. Now, the world over it means we walk down to our nearest 7 Eleven and grab a pie and Slurpee.
From the discovery of fire, the wheel, and creation of language humans have an extraodrinary knack for problem solving. We innovate and modify according to our circumstance and needs-look at the variety of different kinds of homes you find in Queensland compared to Victoria. In Queensland, houses are built to encourage airflow and keep cool. In Victoria houses are made to accommodate the scorching summer heat, and the freezing winters. Or down near Phillip Island where homes are built on stilts in case of a flood.
We did this.
Sure, it didn't happen overnight, and we made our fair share of mistakes first before we found the perfect way of getting it right, but we did it. Isn't that astounding?
Following this line of thinking, it is absolutely beyond comprehension why some people fall victims unto themselves.
We have all played the victim at some point-the first time we experienced heartache and got dumped, when we failed an important exam, or fought with our parents. It's all their fault, right? I mean, that exam covered things you never learned in class! and your parents are totally controlling and want to live their lives vacariously through you. And that girl you dated clearly has her own set of issues to deal with.
WRONG.
big wrong.
You hold within yourself the one thing nobody can ever steal from you, the one thing that can change the very course of your life from mediocre to incredible and it's as simple as this:
What does it mean?
It means get over yourself and stop sweating the small stuff. Start taking some responsibility for your life=you are the only single person in the whole world who has to live with the consequences of your own actions, positive or negative. So why not try? Within you could be hidden the next Picasso, Richard Branson, or Whitney Houston. You have a gift and talent to share with the world-nurture it, and let it bloom into something extraordinary.
Be someone that years from now, the next generation will look back and see you as someone extraordinary and to be admired for their courage to try.
You have it within you, you just gotta find it.
The vastness of human potential is staggering and larger than you or I could ever conceive of.
As a race, look at our accomplishments and our ingenuity: when we needed shelter, we built it from bark, leaves, rocks and anything else we could find. Now in the Western World this means we find a suitable house to rent or buy with a decent kitchen, entertaining area, and bathroom. We get hungry, we found food. We ate berries, plants, hunted our prey and used their fur to keep us warm in the cold. Now, the world over it means we walk down to our nearest 7 Eleven and grab a pie and Slurpee.
From the discovery of fire, the wheel, and creation of language humans have an extraodrinary knack for problem solving. We innovate and modify according to our circumstance and needs-look at the variety of different kinds of homes you find in Queensland compared to Victoria. In Queensland, houses are built to encourage airflow and keep cool. In Victoria houses are made to accommodate the scorching summer heat, and the freezing winters. Or down near Phillip Island where homes are built on stilts in case of a flood.
We did this.
Sure, it didn't happen overnight, and we made our fair share of mistakes first before we found the perfect way of getting it right, but we did it. Isn't that astounding?
Following this line of thinking, it is absolutely beyond comprehension why some people fall victims unto themselves.
We have all played the victim at some point-the first time we experienced heartache and got dumped, when we failed an important exam, or fought with our parents. It's all their fault, right? I mean, that exam covered things you never learned in class! and your parents are totally controlling and want to live their lives vacariously through you. And that girl you dated clearly has her own set of issues to deal with.
WRONG.
big wrong.
You hold within yourself the one thing nobody can ever steal from you, the one thing that can change the very course of your life from mediocre to incredible and it's as simple as this:
Every Moment.
Every Day.
It's Your Life.
Make the Choice.
Own It.
What does it mean?
It means get over yourself and stop sweating the small stuff. Start taking some responsibility for your life=you are the only single person in the whole world who has to live with the consequences of your own actions, positive or negative. So why not try? Within you could be hidden the next Picasso, Richard Branson, or Whitney Houston. You have a gift and talent to share with the world-nurture it, and let it bloom into something extraordinary.
Be someone that years from now, the next generation will look back and see you as someone extraordinary and to be admired for their courage to try.
You have it within you, you just gotta find it.
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